Game Storyline Script
Redemption
By
David Lambert
Address: 19 Romsey Close, Huddersfield, England
Email: [email protected]
Phone: +44 7966395267
NARRATOR
The world of Feyerlun is in peril. Hordes of undead monsters have begun an assault on the living, villages and cities are fighting back against the seemingly endless tide of abominations.
But Humanity cannot hold out for much longer, they need something or someone to turn the tide of battle in their favour. A small village on the outskirts of Holera forest is about to come under attack, little does anyone know however that the tide will begin to turn on this very night…
But for the better, or for the worse?
FADE IN
EXT. MOUNTAIN RANGE – DUSK
The snow capped mountain ranges of Feyerlun sparkle in the light of the sunset.
DISSOLVE TO.
EXT. HOLERA FOREST – DUSK
A young man is finishing his shift at the Lumber Yard; the sun is setting in the distance as he turns the lock in the tool-shed, darkness settling in across the forest.
JASOD, Lumber Yard worker, 24, begins walking back to Holera Village.
JASOD
(Monologue)
Damn it’s chilly tonight, I’d best get home, fog’s beginning to roll in, don’t want to get stuck out in the forest on a night like this.
JASOD walks back to his Village, the fog grows thicker, making him unable to see two feet ahead of himself. JASOD grows anxious to make it back as soon as he can.
A single scream is heard in the distance. JASOD stops, his heart skipping a beat and his breath catching in his throat. A second scream comes from a different direction. JASOD begins running towards the sounds but cannot find his village.
Stone walls begin to appear in front of JASOD; the walls are covered in a sticky red liquid. JASOD touches the substance.
JASOD’s face grows pale as he realises that he has blood on his fingertips.
JASOD
(Startled)
What in the name of the gods... –
JASOD is interrupted by another scream and the sounds of crying from close by, as he moves to investigate an orange glow is visible in the fog, shifting shapes and lighting up the town in the darkness of the night.
KOLE, 23, Magic Shop worker, walks over to the approaching JASOD.
KOLE
(Angered)
JASOD! Where in the name of the gods have you been? I thought you’d been killed too!
JASOD
(Clueless)
Wait, killed too? I only just arrived, what’s happened?
JASOD Looks past KOLE to the large fire in the distance, not made of wood but of about thirty dead bodies.
JASOD
(Shocked)
Oh my…-
KOLE
(Mournful)
We were attacked a few hours before you arrived; it took you three hours to get back?
JASOD
(Confused)
Three hours? I set off just ten minutes ago… how is that possible?
KOLE
(Frustrated)
Well, it doesn’t matter now, we were attacked by a horde of shambling corpses, they were our old villagers that we had buried in the crypts below town, they came into the houses and slaughtered a third of the village!
JASOD
(Blankly staring at Kole)
Corpses? KOLE this sounds crazy, are you sure they were corpses and not just some gang of bandits?
KOLE
(Exasperated)
Damnit JASOD, I’m sure! Go have a look for yourself, you’ll see John and Katie that we buried just last month, they killed about 20 villagers before just slumping over again, we’re burning all of the bodies now to prevent this from happening again.
JASOD
(Slumps to his knees)
…Twenty villagers, what about Drae, where is she?
KOLE
(Pale Faced)
They killed her too, she didn’t make it, I’m sorry.
FADE OUT
SCENE THREE – FREAN’s Magic Shop
FADE IN
INT. MAGIC SHOP – DAY
JASOD and KOLE are on FREAN’s doorstep, arguing about whether or not the old man knows anything about what went on.
JASOD
All right well you’d better be right about this, if FREAN doesn’t know anything about what happened or why those monsters attacked us then this was a waste of time
KOLE
(Reassuring)
Don’t worry; he’ll know something at least.
The two of them enter into the building where FREAN is hunched over his desk with a blank expression on his face. Several smashed potions and vases lay on the floor as well as a few crumpled books, it is apparent that the shop is not always like this by the organisation of the rest of his products.
FREAN looks up at the two young men as they close his door with the same expression, his face pale as the moon.
KOLE
(Intrigued)
Hello FREAN, are you okay? We’re here about what happened last night.
FREAN
(Blankly)
My shop is ruined… They came in through the front doors and tried grabbing me but I gave them the slip, but not before crashing into my cabinets and ruining many of my products, I’m ruined.
JASOD
(Angrily)
FREAN, Twenty people lost their lives last night and you’re worrying about money? Get a hold of yourself, can you tell us anything about why this happened?
FREAN
(Shocked)
Why… Yes, you’re right, I’m sorry, I just…
FREAN moves over to his bookshelf and grabs a large tome from one of the higher shelves, then brings it over to the counter and opens it purposefully on a page a little over three quarters through.
FREAN
(Pointing to an image on the page)
This, here, is the mark of Necromancy, this is the only explanation for why our dead came back to life, this type of magic can only be performed in very close proximity to the bodies that you wish to reanimate. However I have also felt a disturbance of magical energy from the prison twenty miles out of town, magic I have not felt before. The town crypts or this prison are your best bets for where to head next.
JASOD
Interesting, that makes sense now, are necromancers powerful mages as well, if we’re going to be meeting one we need to know what kind of a fight we’ll have on our hands FREAN
FREAN
Not as powerful as a Cryomancer or a Pyromancer, they still possess some damaging capabilities but as long as they’re not near corpses, you shouldn’t have a problem.
JASOD
(Nodding)
All right, that’s all I need to know, we’ll get investigating and see about trying to get revenge for our loved ones that we’ve lost.
KOLE
(Thankful)
Thank you FREAN, we’ll decide where we want to go next based on this information, you’ve been a big help to us, let us know if we can help you fix the shop up when we get back.
KOLE and JASOD talk about their plan of action as they walk back towards JASOD’s home to gather supplies for the journey that they have ahead of themselves.
DISSOLVE TO SCENE FOUR – TOWN CHAPEL
SCENE FOUR – TOWN CHAPEL
FADE IN
INT. CHAPEL – NIGHT
BRANDON, 32, Cleric is on shift at the Chapel as JASOD and KOLE approach out of the night and knock at the side door.
The door opens slightly and BRANDON peers out to see JASOD and KOLE damp from the rain looking through the slit in the doorway.
JASOD
(Annoyed)
Let us in BRANDON, it’s freezing out here.
The door swings open and BRANDON motions for the two men to enter, they do so and leave wet footprints on the cold stone floor of the chapel. The place is illuminated by several chandeliers and candles situated around the room.
KOLE
(Grateful)
Thanks. BRANDON, we’re here about what happened last night, can you tell us anything about how the villagers managed to get out of the crypts? Because they were buried below our feet until we burnt them yesterday.
BRANDON
(Nervously swallows and stutters)
Ahem, w-w-well yes, The bodies walked out of the crypts last night, I heard something fumbling with the locks so I hid behind the altar hoping nothing would see me, but a mass of bodies came walking up the steps leaving pools of blood as they walked outside, led by two of the men that arrived last week.
JASOD
Wait, what men that arrived last week?
BRANDON clenches his fists in frustration and begins to pace back and forth in front of KOLE and JASOD, his body language gives away that he is nervous and stressed by the questions he is being asked.
BRANDON
(Sweating Heavily)
Uhm… Three men showed up last week and requested to tour the crypt, they said that they were looking for some old relatives so I let them enter, they were dressed in long black robes so I was a little wary of them. A few hours passed and I tried to go down to the crypts but it had been locked from the inside and a dark red glow was emanating from beneath the doorway, so I panicked and went back upstairs to my chambers.
KOLE
(Exasperated)
And you didn’t think that it would be a good idea to tell someone about three mysterious robed men entering our crypts and locking themselves down there? The thought didn’t cross your mind at all?
BRANDON
Well… at the time it didn’t seem too important, I didn’t want to be any hassle to anyone, they were probably just doing some kind of foreign method of honouring their dead… right?
JASOD and Kole are clearly becoming agitated by BRANDON’s recklessness and start getting angry towards the cowardly cleric.
JASOD
(Shaking his head)
BRANDON, these people were necromancers, they’ve taken our villagers bodies and made them rise from the dead, how did you not think that this was important? In the name of the gods use your brain in future!
BRANDON
(Weeping)
I’m sorry… I just… I didn’t know what to do and I thought I’d get in trouble, but now look what’s happened and it’s all my fault, I could have stopped this but I didn’t! I’m sorry…
KOLE
(Bravely)
Well, he said only two men left which means one might still be down there, lets hope he’s alive and willing to talk, if not we’re going to be in for a fight.
JASOD nods at KOLE, agreeing and motions towards the crypt entrance with his hand.
BRANDON trails off into weeping and mumbling, KOLE and JASOD move towards the stairs leading to the crypts, clearly intending to enter and investigate what has happened down there.
DISSOLVE TO. NEXT SCENE, JASOD/KOLE ENTER CRYPTS
Evaluation
Strengths
My script is formatted very well as I followed the instructions and layout that was taught to me as best as possible and I think that there are little to no errors with the layout of my work. I ensured that all of my scenes were explained well, eg. Where they are located (inside/outside/setting) and that my speech had the person doing the talking located above it.
I think my script also has a good amount of detail within it, there is a lot of descriptive writing to set the scene and to try and give an idea of what the characters are feeling through the use of adjectives and directions within the script, such as the scene where the bodies are burning and Kole/Jasod are overwhelmed at what has just happened.
Weaknesses
A main weakness feels that the story is currently very short as I would struggle to manage to write the entirety, and that not much actually happens within these first few scenes, which doesn’t look good to anyone reading it as it will not be very gripping, however I hope that it makes enough of an impression to keep people reading if the rest was written.
My characters also need some work, they feel very basic in the first few scenes, which can be fixed later but initially they should feel much more interesting and relatable rather than somewhat empty and boring, this may be seen as more a story element than a script problem, but the way that the dialogue occurs within the script causes these reasons.
There is also not much room for narration in my script, which made it hard to fit the brief; this is because the story is experienced from the perspective of the characters rather than a narrative perspective.
Fitness for purpose
I feel that my work is fit for purpose as it follows the script layout successfully which is one of the most important parts for this assignment, I have also made sure to have the script fit the original concept as best as possible although some minor adjustments had to be made so that the formatting would make sense.
Literary Qualities
My script is written with a very medieval style, the dialogue has words that give away clues to the time period, such as villagers and lumberyard, crypt, necromancers, wizards etc. This makes my script fit in to the setting well and the literary qualities are help to make the story somewhat immersive.
The themes of my script are also exactly what I was aiming to create when I originally planned the story out, it is a very dark story which makes the themes designed for a quite mature audience, however I also wanted to mix these themes with elements of humour, so that the script isn’t just miserable to read and shows that there is always something worth laughing about even when everything is going wrong.
Possible Improvements
Although I mentioned in my strengths that the script has a good amount of detail, I feel that it can still be improved by adding way more detail and more description to the settings and the characters, as for an RPG type game it doesn’t feel quite enough to really get people interested in the storyline, there could be a lot more filler between scenes of the characters exploring the village or just an explanation of what the buildings that they enter look like, as I may already have done this but there is a lot of unused potential with the story.
I already mentioned also that my characters could do with feeling much more relatable and human as I think that the way they talk is almost forced rather than as if they were to be best friends for many years, which they are.